I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
