We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
