but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
