Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
