my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
