im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
