Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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