My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
