4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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