She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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