it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
