NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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