she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
