After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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