In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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