Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
