You're earring is so big in my mouth
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
