You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
