OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
