woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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