when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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