I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
