You're my little dorito
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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