i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
