what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
