are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
