he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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