Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
