So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
