Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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