i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
