you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
