Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
