theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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