I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
