oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I enjoy the company of your penis
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
that is very illegal...i love you.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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