Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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