So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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