thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
it's great music for shaving your balls
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
