Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
