Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
