it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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