I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
