There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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