i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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