Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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