Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
