I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
