Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
