She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
