You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
