what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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