Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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