if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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