If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
