how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
